Okay, we’ve all heard the saying, “Nice guys finish last.” It’s one of those quotes that idealists and do-gooders absolutely hate. It’s also a brutal reminder that being a “good person” isn’t always what gets you ahead in this world. Many nice guys frequently sit back in horror as the girls they desire are swooped away be ill-intentioned assholes. At one point, you may have even asked yourself, “Why him? Why did she fuck that asshole in one night when I’ve been getting to know her for months?! This isn’t fair! I’m a good guy!”
It’s very frustrating seeing a girl you’re head-over-heels in love with jumping into the arms of a reckless, self-absorbed dickhead. Instead of losing faith in women while condemning humanity as a whole, let’s take a look at 5 reasons asshole males appeal to women. Without further ado:
Why Do Women Date Assholes?
1. Perceived Confidence:
Guys with the asshole type of personality exude confidence. Whether that confidence is real, fake, or too cocky, women seem to respond to it. Even if some girls are disgusted with overly-douchebag behavior, there will always be those that lap it up.
Make no mistake: Most assholes aren’t truly 100% confident. All the bravado and macho behavior some guys display is simply a way to compensate for insecurities. Although some chicks will fall for this bullshit, more mature women see through the superficial posturing. We talk a bit more about strong inner-game in our PUA Routines article.
2. Sex Appeal:
The typical “asshole” is pretty narcissistic. He most likely views himself as a god-among-man, and carries himself as such. He also assumes attraction. That is, he expects that women will want him, and by assuming attraction, he actually CREATES it just by holding this belief. His dress, style, and speech are all congruent with the belief that women find him sexy, and it usually turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
3. He Can’t be Tamed:
The alpha asshole has a very self-centered approach to life. In his world, he doesn’t have to change for anyone or anything. In fact, many narcissists and assholes expect the world to conform to them! Because of this stubborn unwillingness to bend to the will of others, they display unusual confidence to many women (NOTE: You can do this too once you learn how to be an alpha male without losing your integrity).
No chick feels attraction to a guy that supplicates her and does her every bidding. Unfortunately, most guys fall into the this category, and because of this, assholes stand out in that they do the OPPOSITE. An unpredictable, uncontrollable man is VERY attractive to most women. They may bitch, moan, and complain about how the asshole doesn’t listen to them, but at the end of the day, HE will be on the receiving end of a blowjob.
4. Sexual Tension:
The typical Westernized asshole looks at women as sexual objects. He views most chicks as vessels for pleasure and is shameless in his intentions. In stark contrast, your typical “nice guy,” does the exact the exact opposite! They may want to sleep with a woman, but they’ll never let their intentions be known because they’re afraid of being judged by females.
Hate to break it to you, but women LOVE sex. A man that can’t satisfy a woman’s need for sex is basically a paper-weight to her. When most men are too afraid to express their sexuality, who do women turn to? Oh yeah, that’s right: the shameless asshole. At least he knows how to build enough sexual tension to facilitate great sex.
5. The Body:
Narcissists, aka “assholes,” need to maintain an ideal self-image in order to function in society. Their self-esteem is entirely dependent on how awesome or “badass” other people think they are. In order to gain this indirect validation from people, they meticulously craft their persona and image to convey dominance, sex appeal, or whatever. Looking good is VERY important to the narcissist, and he will typically spend 4-6 days out of the week working out. Obviously, looks only get you so far with women, but when combined other “asshole” elements, it’s a lethal combination.
“Cool, I know why girls date assholes… Now What?”
If you’re a naturally nice guy, you don’t have to throw away your integrity to get with women. It’s better to adopt all of the attractive qualities assholes exhibit while leaving out the undesirable stuff. Think of it as panning for gold. You take all the shitty elements that comprise assholes and filter that through a strainer until you have all the core elements that women crave.
In conclusion, here’s a quick video from RSDNation that talks about how nice guys can learn from assholes.